Welcome! Take a peek on my world...

This is my world. Different from other people but sure, its wonderful and full of life. Yeah, right! I am different from other people and I want to stay that way. Afterall, I am here to make a difference in this world and not to please people to like me. Just remember, people will notice WHAT I do but only God knows WHY I do things..all motives are known only by Him. :)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Why should I believe it?

Why should I believe it? I am sorry I have my faith and I don't believe in any crap other people may say about me. It's quite disappointing but who knows my destiny? Okay, I believe that man is the maker of his own destiny. Or should I say that man may make plans but God direct his actions.
It is only God knows what my life was and will be. He made me for a purpose and if ever He'll take me too soon, it is because I've already done my purpose and fulfilled my calling not because I've done some mistakes in life. I've already surrender my life to Him. I know whatever and wherever I am right now, it is according to His plan to me. So who cares if I am too young? He knows what's good for me. He knows everything!
I am sorry I cannot depend my life in any crap! Sure, it consumed few days of my life because I thought about it. It confused me. But then again, what the heck! what is it for?! Excuse me, for whatever it is, it can never change me and what I am here to fulfill. There's more to life than believing those crap.. I am not against you or any one who beleive in it. Some people believe in that but never will I. I know it exist for so long as man's creation but the power of the One I believe in is far more greater than that! I only depended on HIm. Only Him can say until when I am going to stay here on earth. Only Him can make me happy. Only Him can fulfill the emptiness in my heart. And if ever I and my love has parted, it is also His will. And I know that everything has a reason. But for now, I am waiting for the hands of God to move into my life. I ceased to ask Him any more question because I know He knows what He's doing. I hated myself for being affected of those crap! But take note, being affected is not the same as believing. I am discerning things, weighting things. And today, I realize that there's no point in entertaining those ideas. If you have faith, nothing and no one can break you. Again, I only believe in God. No one else! If you believe in anything else other than God, I assure you that mine is more powerful than yours. Why? because, the whole world, the universe, the humanity, animal kingdom and everything you see, feel and taste are belong to Him. And despite His vastness He choses to stay in man's heart. If His words changes man, what more does His love can do? No one can do it except Him. Does the one you believe in can do the same? I guess not because only my God can do it. Not unless we have the same God and the same intensity of belief. So tell me, why should I believe that crap? huh?..

Sunday, April 15, 2007

"The Cry of my Heart"

"The Cry of my Heart"

If I have hurt you, I’m sorry.
If I’m not brave enough to admit my feelings for you, I’m sorry.
If I am ruled by my stupid pride, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t fulfill my promise to you, I’m sorry.
If I took you for granted because of my dreams, I’m sorry.
If I failed to be the person I suppose to be for you, I’m sorry.
If I have left you behind, I’m sorry.
If I’ve gone too far, I’m sorry.
If I’ve didn’t give you enough attention, I’m sorry.
If I have let you feel that I didn’t care about you, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t have enough strength to fight for you, I’m sorry.
If I threw my chance away to be with you, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t respond correctly to your cares and sweetness, I’m sorry.
If I’ve hurt your pride, I’m sorry.
If I caused you sleepless nights, I’m sorry.
If I caused you to be insecure of yourself, I’m sorry.
If I became the reason of your sadness, I’m sorry.
If I had lead you to tears, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t give you a chance to be part of my life, I’m sorry.
If I let you feel that I hate you, I’m sorry.
If I have pushed you away, I’m sorry.
If I let you give up on me, I’m sorry.
If I disappoint you too much, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t stop you when you go, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t ask you to stay, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t look for you when you’re gone, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t let you finish your explanations, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t give you a chance to prove what you feel for me, I’m sorry.
If I don’t care for you as much as you cared for me, I’m sorry.
If I’m not as expressive as you are, I’m sorry.
If I’m too cold towards you, I’m sorry.
If I don’t believe in you, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t listen to you, I’m sorry.
If I detested you, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t approach you when we saw each other after a long time, I’m sorry
If I didn’t give you an explanation the way you want it, I’m sorry.
If I didn’t thank you for your understanding, I’m sorry.
If I made your life too difficult, I’m sorry.
If l became stupid, I’m sorry.
If loving me became hard because of my immaturity, I’m sorry.
I know it’s so hard to understand.
I know it’s not your fault.
I know I’d made a big mistake.
I know I’m selfish.
I know that you’re the best that I have but I took it for granted.
I know that I shouldn’t treat you that way.
I know you’re my lost.

But I just learned it too late.
Too bad its too late.
For all of this, I’m asking for your forgiveness.
Forgive me for all the pains, hurts and regrets that I caused you.
I’m not expecting you to love me the same way again.
I’m not asking you to come back to me.
I cannot change what has been said and done.
But maybe it’s time for us to let go of the past and admit what really has been.
For everything I’ve done before, I’ve regret it.
I apologize for keeping to myself what I feel for you.
For not admitting what I really feel about you.
I know that I denied myself a chance to be with you.
I know that I’ve cheated you and most of all I’ve cheated myself.
I’m really really sorry.
For all that, there’s something I cannot change and hide
I may have out-witted you and other people but never will I out-wit the destiny.
I cannot deny the fact that you’re the only person I want.
That I’m still looking for you everywhere I go.
I cannot deny the fact of what and who you are in my life
Whatever happens, I know that in my life I did love you.... more.
More than anybody else, more than my dreams, more than my pride.
It’s hard to believe but I do.
No one and nothing can change that.
We may or may not see each other again but I know that you always have my heart.
I know you’re the biggest part of my life that I didn’t have.

My past.
My frustration.
My Dream.
But then again, I’m sorry for everything.
I’m sorry…. this is all I have to say.
I know I cannot mend whatever scar I have left you.
But if you’ll just accept my apologies,
You’re not only doing me a favor, you’re also helping me to forgive myself.
Again, I’m really really sorry.

(compose originally-1:45pm 4/15/07, revised 7:25pm 4/15/07 by belle)

nature and vastness!

nature and vastness!

you can fill in the space..

you can fill in the space..

Jesus' hug.. :)

Jesus' hug.. :)
..feel His hug and you'll be safe and happy...:)

unsure things

unsure things

wanna be great? ;)

wanna be great? ;)

nice background

nice background

photo

photo
self photo :)

The Proteus in me..

PROTEUS
In Greek mythology, Proteus is an early sea-god, one of several deities whom Homer calls the "Old Man of the Sea"[1], whose name suggests the "first", as protogonos is the "primordial" or the "firstborn". He became the son of Poseidon in the Olympian theogony (Odyssey iv. 432), or of Nereus and Doris, or of Oceanus and a Naiad, and was made the herdsman of Poseidon's seals, the great bull seal at the center of the harem. He can foretell the future, but, in a mytheme familiar from several cultures, will change his shape to avoid having to; he will answer only to someone who is capable of capturing him. From this feature of Proteus comes the adjective protean, with the general meaning of "versatile", "mutable", "capable of assuming many forms": "Protean" has positive connotations of flexibility, versatility and adaptability.